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Logging off

hidden (em-online) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 10:19:00 +0000

I've swapped my Instagram account for this blog.

I dislike the social media platforms we have today, but I love what they originally promised. Connection. A chance to share with others, regardless of where they are. I've spent a lot of time talking with friends about my gripes with social media ~~sorry Hannah~~ and although I could probably write a whole book on the negatives of the modern social platforms, I think my issues boil down to:

The big social platforms are designed to be addictive¹ and to take advantage of how your brain works.
Everything is just an ad. There's ads between people ten second Instagram stories now and everyone is selling you something. That runner on Instagram might be talking about how running changed her life, but she's really just trying to get you to use her discount code on the newest pair of Asics.
The social platforms offer an illusion of connection, without offering any real depth to your relationships. Leaving a comment or liking an Instagram story might feel like keeping up with what your friends are doing, but it says nothing about what is really going on for either of you beyond the photo.
It's harder than ever to see posts from people you actually follow. On Instagram you now have to navigate to a whole new feed to see just posts by people you follow, and that feed is rather hidden. Otherwise, every second post is "suggested content".
They're also just selling all your data (that old quote of "if you can't see the product, you are the product" is true, if cliche) and they use your posts to train AI².

When I checked my screen time last year, I found I was spending up to five hours a day on my phone - with a lot of that spent on Instagram. I felt so short on time, and yet I was wasting so much of it just scrolling mindlessly through short-form content created by people I didn't know.

So I fell down a rabbit hole of watching YouTube videos about other people's experiences quitting social media. I watched Netflix's 'The Social Dilemma'. I spent a year deactivating my Instagram account and then inevitably logging back in again. I journalled about my thoughts on it and I complained to friends about how much I hated it.

So why did I finally decide to get off the apps?

I reached a point where I realised that I was always saying one thing but doing another.

I would say how much I hated it and then I would scroll on my phone. I would talk to friends about how Instagram's algorithm pushing content about disordered eating put me in a bad headspace, and instead of stepping away I would stress that my stomach looked too obvious in the outfits I was putting together for dinner out. I would talk about how awful I think it is for people and yet I would still keep logging in again.

It just felt so hypocritical to spend so much time thinking and talking and writing about how the apps made me feel, but doing absolutely nothing about it. So I guess I just decided I'd had enough.

But why the blog?

I still wanted a way to share with people and to keep in touch. I just didn't want it to be in the form of a platform that was constantly working to keep us hooked to it, riddled with ads, and selling my data to advertisers to further riddle my life with ads.

So I started looking for something that knocked out all of those concerns, and I found what a lot of people on the internet call 'slow social media' or 'slow web'. I fiddled with making my own website (which I have, and you can find here), but I think what I was ultimately looking for was somewhere to share in a simpler manner.

Then I stumbled upon this platform. It's simple. It has no ads. It isn't made to be addicting. It's not selling your data. It's main focus is simple text blogging with basic mark up abilities. It doesn't have a built-in commenting feature. It's simply for writing your thoughts and sharing them, with the void or with some friends.

So here we are. On a blog.

I have a lot I'd like to write about that isn't social media, but thought I'd get the "why" out of the way first.

Also, for anyone who is interested in the no ads, no data selling, privacy aspect of this platform: you will never get an email from Bear and they will never do anything with the email you provide. You subscribing simply puts together a handy copy-and-paste list of people to add to the email that I send out myself. It's not automated, so every time you get an email saying that I've got a blog post up, it's from me! Not the site.

Also worth noting, in case you're thinking of your own blog on the platform, that the ability to have people subscribe and the ability to add images to blog posts is a paid feature - approx. $6/month or a larger once-off fee I can't remember the value of.

Anyhow. I'm now officially of the social media apps, woohoo!! You can message me or call via my phone number of FB Messenger, or if you choose to respond to the email about this blog post, it comes straight to my inbox and I'll email you back!

Here's a film photo from a family holiday earlier in the year <3 See you in person or in your email inbox again soon - hopefully talking about something other than my gripes with social media :))

This piece by 'The Conversation' is a great summary.↩
The Guardian have a summary of this but Meta have essentially made it impossible to opt out. In 2024 Meta said they weren't scraping the profiles of private accounts, but didn't rule out doing it in the future... so who knows how private your private account is.↩

我们喜欢“大”空间

hidden (cicis-moving-castle) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 10:14:00 +0000

《宝贝》张悬；《喜欢》张悬；
今天晚了点，还在接送途中[Joyful] 嗯嗯，等你
上地铁了吗电话嗯

直播啦~ 也不是啦~ 我出去和你聊？
嗯，么么哒~ 嗯，爱你~ [Hug]
不过，我要说不过了这种感情体验这么稀有
啥说不过啊其他外力我不知道，从主观上想失去的概率很小对吧
就像你说的，至少此时此刻，深信不疑嗯嗯[Hug]

这种思维，怎么说呢，确实没有负担。 [Joyful]
对情感来说，是最优选择~ 但对工作或者其他来说，是不是有点不担当，哈哈哈。
你思维比我更跳跃 [旺柴] 我跳的有逻辑~ 嗯嗯，有逻辑

这么给你说吧，这个观点，从“异地恋”的角度来说我赞同~
要是对于结婚，我是第一个站出来和你辩论的。
我骨子里面还是会去追求那种稳定的状态~ 并且用全部心力去维护。
我明白。而不是单纯的follow the heart for oneself
我现在觉得我纠结的点就在这里，上次也是这样，应该做的和想做的脱节了。
你可以约束，但是你管不着自己的心哈哈哈哈
你仔细想想，对吧没办法，寄人篱下，任人宰割~ 嗯？

昨天写东西的时候，回忆一幕幕还是很幸福，感谢你来的我的世界~
用不上感谢，也许因为我本来就想来呢～你的努力只是给我搭的台阶～对吧
意境升华了，我前面也说过阶梯，都是自己给自己搭~
那你更喜欢历经千辛万苦的得偿所愿呢，还是钟意的人也钟意自己的双向奔赴？
给台阶下~ 这外人看是圆滑的处事逻辑；在咱们这儿是爱的同行~
请姐姐脑补一下俩人在一起，你踩在我脚上，
左右左向前走的滑稽画面我和弟弟经常玩这个游戏。
他洗完澡，睡前去卫生间又不想穿拖鞋，我们就这样“走”到卫生间~

那肯定是双向奔赴啊~ 爱情不是爬山，这个你说的对
山终有巅，意味着攀登终有尽头；
而我们的爱是双向奔赴的互相吸引，是携手同行的星辰大海

是我比较诚实而已～或者说，比较笃定。
开始的形式没那么重要，重要的是能否经营好
稳定就在这儿，我也觉得咱们的关系比较稳定。
或者说重要的是，彼此是否玩的开心
哈哈，我们又在这自娱自乐，相互感动了。

其实我俩在一起，做什么、不做什么，或者随便做点什么，就都会很好。
因为相互喜欢，真的嗯嗯，这是最重要的嘛
说点什么，甚至不说话都很好唯一难受的感觉就是，时间过得飞快
对，不一定要有明确主题，要升华思想，要精辟言论，我们又不是要擂台[Chuckle]
回过头去想，就是相互欣赏、喜欢，然后等着爱情的魔力就行了。
哎呀，上头~ 上头~ 和喜欢的人在一起，什么也不说，发呆，浪费时间也是享受的

热恋的感觉~ 姐姐都一把年纪了~ 我从来都没觉得自己一把年纪[Facepalm]
嗯嗯，小姐姐~ 我在沉浸式摸鱼刚想说，你今天事情多，就有空再回复我
梅老板本届世界杯首秀，进球了。我以为你在专心工作呢[Chuckle]
外人看不出来~ 咱俩的秘密一本正经的摸鱼~ 不过你是驾轻就熟了～还好啦~

我叫你姐姐，你喜欢吗我没谈过弟弟，竟然也挺不错
我做的这些~ 你觉得有改进的，还是要告诉我具体指所有啊~
我觉得你的审美好的嗯，我同意你的观点
同意什么啊~ 我没在线。。。同意这个观点[破涕为笑]
嗨，单纯夸你好吧~ 我深以为然呀

就是想听你的声音小朋友在对面，实在是说不出口[Concerned]
哈哈哈，我知道我知道你知道，你还问[NosePick]
我说啥你就嗯一下不就行了
噢噢～我把木心的书放单位看啦

等下周老师给你们讲方案哈~ 工作节奏顺了，其实我觉得还是很舒服的。
哪个周老师哈哈哈，等下周老师讲方案 [Lol]

姐姐，中午怎么安排？和昨天一样
我想去跑步争取早点回来，你是1点睡？嗯嗯
去跑吧回来啦连？直播间哈~
我反正以前是没想过这种交流~
直播间挺好的啊~
找不到就算了嘛我都忘记那个插销的事儿了 =。=
那你要对我负责！哼嗯嗯
所以刚才我说，你去X Ncity谁保护谁还不一定呢
我说自保嘛，换你去当老大，就你来保我等你保护我~
我这人生地不熟的，还不被你们给活剥生吃了

咱们俩真的有点夸张，1个小时对话真的感觉转瞬即逝
完全没说够，好多话题都是被对方无情的掐断，然后接入自己的_~
真的需要制造个机会，好好的叙叙旧哈哈哈哈名字就叫“秘密互换大会”。
这个单独相处的空间不能太小
哎，我是在说时间的问题，你扯空间上去了我说的不对吗，宝宝
嗯，我现在反倒不太想单独“见面”了。除非在公共场合，
在房间里面完全没办法语言交流。。。
怪我咯怪这夜色太撩人 [Lol][Hug]

[亲亲] 困不不困

flower girl

hidden (thedoodlenoodle) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 10:06:00 +0000

flower girl

It's been a while since I posted here!

I had a lovely creative day yesterday that made me realize I haven't made anything in months, and that it's definitely time to pick that up again! So here we are... my latest little stamp, a flower girl.

On Adam and Steve

hidden (davidmcgee) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 10:00:00 +0000

I often hear conservative Christians condemn gay relationships because of the creation story in Genesis — "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," so the slogan goes.

I was never particularly impressed by this argument. When I became woke, it was not a major sticking point. But, I happened to think about it the other day, and I realized it goes ignores the logic of Genesis 2 is an important way.

In verse 18, God observes that Adam is lonely and incomplete, so He decides to create a partner for him. Thus, He makes all the beasts of the Earth, and each is presented to Adam. Of course, none of them will do, so God creates the first woman. And — with great relief, one assumes — Adam immediately accepts her. At long last, he has found someone who is right for him, and so the two become one.

But, for a gay man, a woman is not a fitting partner. If Adam was gay, Eve would have to join the aardvarks.

The Torch Doesn't Light Itself

hidden (magnusps) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 09:59:00 +0000

This past weekend we celebrated Jaanipäev (St. John's Day), the summer solstice, the longest day of the year and one of the biggest holidays in the Nordic calendar.

Long before anyone called it St. John's Day, it was simply Midsummer. A pagan celebration that stretched across ancient Europe, from Britain to Ukraine, marking the longest day / shortest night of the year, depending on who you asked.

When Christianity arrived, it didn't so much erase the old holiday as rename it: Midsummer fell close enough to the feast of John the Baptist that the two merged, and across the continent, Midsummer became St. John's Day.

But the new name was mostly a coat of paint. A sixteenth-century Estonian chronicler wrote with some disgust about countrymen who valued the feast more than church. Who showed up, didn't go inside, and spent the day lighting bonfires, drinking, dancing, and singing instead.

In Estonia, the day carries even more weight than that. Jaanipäev once marked the hinge of the agricultural year. The close of spring planting and the start of summer haymaking, which is why so many of its rituals run so deep.

The signature one is the bonfire. Building it big , since the failure to light one at all was thought to invite the very fire it was supposed to prevent.

And in 1919, the holiday picked up a second meaning: Estonian forces beat back the Germans during the War of Independence on June 23rd, and ever since, Jaanipäev has shared the calendar with Victory Day. So the fire isn't just for luck anymore. It's for everything the country fought to keep.

While this year marked my daughter's first, I've been going for thirty-five years, and it's still one of my favorite days of the year.

We may not be in Estonia, but we stubbornly celebrate like we are. We run around outside, we swim, we grill, we sing and dance, we take sauna, we have a few drinks, and we build a fire the moon could see just fine.

This year had a few new headliners, but the bones of it never change, and that's the whole point.

Some of the people there this year watched me grow up. Knew me when I was in single digits, or not yet born at all. That's part of what I love most.

We've taken a Nordic tradition and kept it alive here in the United States, the same way my ancestors kept it alive for centuries before anyone thought to write it down.

Traditions are just agreements. Quiet ones, made without a handshake, to keep showing up and doing the damn thing the way our people always have.

And showing up is the whole trick. Traditions don't work long-distance. Neither do friendships. They need a body in the room.

That's why I think traditions are load-bearing walls for belonging. Both ask the same price of you: commitment, and showing up.

Take those away and you don't have culture, you have nostalgia. A postcard instead of the place.

Without them, we're rudderless, drifting on a calendar with no milestones to mark the way.

I love this tradition because I love what lies beneath it: my Estonian roots, my upbringing, my values, and a small village of people I grew up alongside and still get to call my people.

The traditions are the reason we gather, month on month, year on year. The lights strung along the road, so you always know you're getting somewhere. And somewhere along the way, without either of us announcing it, my wife became one of those lights too. Not a guest at the tradition anymore. A carrier of it.

Now there's a third light. My daughter's first Jaanipäev was the start of her own, even if it's too early to know what it'll mean to her yet. What I do know is she loves being outdoors, and she was born into a field full of fire and noise and people who already loved her before she could love them back. The tradition didn't skip a generation. It just picked up a new one.

But here's the thing about a tradition like this ... somebody has to carry it.

The Estonians who built that fire in 1578 are long gone, and the ones who beat back an army in 1919 are gone too, and the only reason any of it survived to land on a field in America last Saturday is because somebody, every single year, agreed to keep showing up and doing the thing.

That's not nostalgia, that's a relay race, where the torch doesn't stay lit on its own.

So if you've got a tradition like mine. One with roots. One with a village attached to it. Go stand in that field. Don't let it go quiet on your watch.

And if you don't have one, if there's no village waiting for you with a fire already built, that's not a verdict, it's an assignment.

Go find it. Ask around, show up uninvited if you have to, try on a few traditions that aren't yours yet until one of them fits like it always was.

Somewhere out there is a little village with your name on it, and once you find it, it'll light up your world the same way that bonfire lit up the field on Saturday night. And it'll keep doing it, year after year, for as long as you keep showing up.

Chaff in the wind

hidden (jamesphilbrick) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 09:57:00 +0000

True fulfillment is chaff in the wind
To the seeded analytical mind
Which inveterately labours to abscind
The endless emotional experience of human kind

Weekly 24. World Cup

hidden (tn) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 09:29:00 +0000

Một mùa World Cup nữa lại đến. Tuần này mình chỉ cập nhật ngắn gọn như sau:

Xem World Cup 2026 chất lượng 4K qua Fox, backup là PeacockTV (chất lượng cũng tốt nhưng không phải thuyết minh tiếng Anh).

Thêm status cho blog, mã nguồn từ mystatus.

Cho tnImageUpload "nghỉ hưu" vì mình không sử dụng nhiều do bất tiện, để upload phải qua nhiều bước, thay vào đó mình chuyển sang sử dụng telegram bot, thêm hình hay file sẽ nhận lại link, rất tiện lợi và nhanh, đặc biệt là trên iOS cứ share đến telegram bot là xong.

Hiện giờ blog sẽ tự động tạo og image dựa vào title và description, việc này chỉ là test code vì blog này chắc không ai đọc nói chi đến share :))

I have these reoccurring dreams and today I woke up a bit after 5am ROARING, scaring the hell out of my dad and my cat. I've been considering writing about the dreams for a while...>>

hidden (charoncat) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 09:26:00 +0000

...but it feels really vulnerable to do so I've been putting it off.

A bit of context before I get into it: when I was too young too remember I scared the shit out of my family by disappearing during a picnic. After looking for me everywhere they found me back at our picnic site. When asked where I was I told them something about seeing a cat with many blue glowing eyes on the stream and following it into this crack in the ground and visiting this big underground lake with a glowing blue tree in the middle.

As I said, I was too young to remember that day. But what I was describing were an entity from local folklore, called the Earth Cat...as for the lake and tree? who knows where I got that from.

My family was just relieved they found me. They were close to getting the authorities involved. At first they didn't put much thought into my story, kids come up with weird stuff all the time. My mum did eventually take me to a catholic priest....and an ortodox priest...and a witch...and whoever else did woowoo stuff around here in the early 90s....just to be sure, you know?

As I kid I started having dreams of the Earth Cat and the Blue Tree. But they were just glimpses. Or maybe that's all I would remember from them. I learned pretty quick not to mention them to my family since I wasn't very fond of meeting weird adults that would treat me like I might bite.

Ok, but what is the Earth Cat? In local folklore it's a shadowy entity that mostly inhabits caves and mines. It is a sort of guardian or guide of the underworld. It is said to have many sparkling blue eyes and miners would leave offerings from their lunch for it. It's something like our version of the Will-o'-the-wisps.

I would often doodle many eyed cats, sparks, eyes and trees. Later in life I would paint them, the Earth Cat became Eth in the stories I would write, even the name of the blog is a reference to it.

Random sketches from my sketchbook.

Paintings I did a while back.

It wasn't until my early adult years that I started having more fully remembered dreams of this. At first I would dream I was a child, back on that stream near the picnic spot off the side of the 581 road. I would see the Earth Cat and follow it into this crack. As I would move forward I was growing, aging, becoming the person I was as I was dreaming it. And the space between the rocks was getting tighter, I would barely squeeze between them, getting all cut up. With a final struggle I would emerge on the other side and fall onto this dark shore. Before me a huge lake that got lost in the endless darkness of the cave I was in. He was there with me. Watching me with his many eyes, saying "Name me." and then I'd wake up.

Then I started dreaming that he'd leave me, he would go out into the darkness walking on the surface of that lake. I'd try to follow but I would sink, I'd feel myself drowning, have a glimpse of the island and tree. Maybe he'd say "Name me." again. I'd feel the water fill y lungs and my consciousness leaving me and then wake up in a sweat.

In time I started being able to follow him. At first I had to focus very hard on every step. But then I confidently learned to walk beside him on that still lake. Sometimes he'd disappear and leave me wandering for what seems like eternity in the darkness of the cave. I would always find the island.

On the island there was always this blue tree glowing with am orange ball of light between it's branches. The trunk was...is..an iridescent bluish color, like made of jagged crystals instead of wood. It is split in two and the two halves twist around each other. Between them there is a small opening. I'd try to go inside...and I'd wake up.

About three years ago I started having a different dream. I didn't tie it into this one yet.

I would dream I was in this endless landscape of travertine pools. The sky was clear and the sun was warm and pleasant. The pools stretched beyond the horizon and I was on this path that went upwards. Going to the summit of the white sparkling mountain.

Found this picture of Pamukkale on Google to illustrate what I mean. Imagine this, but endless.

The path has chicken wire fence on each side. The kind that's stretched between those metal frames. it was rusty and painted different colors. On the side of the path various household objects, like a watering can, a little plastic barrel, brooms, stuff like that.

I wrote about it in y sketchbook when I first started having this dream.

I was barefoot and bare chested and in a body that felt right. I would walk slowly, having this sense of calm and certainty that I'm on the right path, I'm on time, there's no rush, everything is exactly as it should be. Eventually I would get to the summit where the path sorta opened up into this little yard between the travertine pools. The yard had the same type of fence as the path. There was an old rusty orange Dacia 1310 with no wheels sat on some bricks, some more random flower pots and objects and a little wooden bench. Opposite the bench there was a small gate, next to it this scraggly small tree, almost no leaves, except for a small branch where there was a few wilted leaves and a round orange fruit. I don't know what that fruit was. But I knew it wasn't ripe yet. I would just sit on that bench and wait patiently. I knew I was early.

Then one night, the gate opened and there stood the version of me from the other dream, with my broken body and bleeding everywhere, looking more dead than alive. My eyes were just dark pits in my head and black blood was oozing from them. I woke up.

The next time I dreamt I went to that island with the tree again. I went thought the opening between the twin trunks and I saw the other one, calm, content, sitting on the little wooden bench, next to the rusty old car. He pointed at the small orange fruit in the otherwise dead tree. "It's not ripe yet." he said. And I woke up.

Versions of both these dreams happened several times. Sometimes I was the calm one in the travertine landscape and other times I was the broken one in the dark cave.

Until last night.

Last night I was both. I had both dream at the same time. I did both journeys and felt them deeply. I was also the Earth Cat, watching both from the outside. I told the broken one to "Name me". The calm one waited patiently on the bench for what seemed like ages while the broken one roamed the dark endless lake. When I finally got to the island and passed though the space between the trunks I felt tired. My wounds hurt. I wasn't scared but I was somehow lost and finding the calm me felt like finding my way. I crashed into the other me's arms and I turned into black blood. Drenching him.

I caught the broken me and felt his form slip into nothingness and I was getting drenched with black blood. I wasn't sad, or scared. It changed me. From the outside I looked different somehow. So did everything around me. The travertine landscape turned black and the sky went dark. On the inside felt different in a way I find hard to describe. The calm gave way to a kind of maniacal fury, determination, certainty. aggression even. I felt like something deep withing me snapped into place. I felt like I was invincible. I started laughing and then let out a scream. A roar. A battle cry. I woke up with that roar. I scared the hell out of my dad and my cat.

Awake, I am in a good mood. In a hyped up kinda way, sort of a high. A lust for life I've not felt since I existed in this world.

Send me a bird to let me know what you think.

Alpha goes to a career counselor to become a career counselor to guide Bravo to become a career counselor to guide Charlie

hidden (v4nividivici) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 09:09:00 +0000

“I don’t know what to do with my life.”
“Have you considered telling other people who don’t know what to do with their lives what to do with their lives?”

you die, you meet god and god says ‘you have to go back, you have a mission’

and you’re like 'oh what mission?’

and god says 'to help other people’

'to do...?’

’their missions :>’

'which is…’

'to…help…other…people’ (you start speaking in sync now, because you see where this is going) 'to do their mission…which is to help…other people…to do their mission…which is…to help other people to do their mission which is to help other people do their mission which is to help other people to do their mission which is to help–’

you speak faster and faster, it’s been 5 hours, and the words have settled into a steady rhythm, a sonic hell of inescapable meaninglessness. your brain bifurcates like a dolphin asleep. half the brain continues to chant mindlessly, the other half searches frantically within for something – anything – to break this dystopian chain and you blurt out: 'TO BAKE BREAD!!’

looking up

hidden (yak) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 09:05:57 +0000

Something I like to remind myself from time to time is, as I walk around, to look up more.

There are interesting buildings, architecture, animals, other people, things going on. It reminds you there's more than just what's directly in front of you.

I'm especially bad for just looking 5 feet ahead when walking with my earphones in. Observant to around me but not taking it in.

The world is cool, embrace it.

Troika Tuesday - An Ontological Parasite

hidden (infinitetwin) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 08:06:00 +0000

An Ontological Parasite

A boundary, a hole - the most elusive entity. It is attracted when you've lost something very important to you - physical, magical or psychological. It starts as a tingling, a small speck on your body. Before long, the hole has has grown large enough to see through. The insides of the hole are cold and smooth, and no matter what angle you view it, the hole faces you - right through to the other side.

It smothers sound. You feel it's echo rattle through your tendons: 'I need you'. You're the host, and it can't exist without you.

Every day it will grow. From the size of a small coin, large enough to pass your entire arm through, larger still. It causes no pain, beyond the now throbbing loss of the important object, thought or belief - which increases in intensity as the hole grows. It cannot be filled, healed or repaired, outside of the total restoration or reconciliation with the lost.

Parasitical Effects

Ontological Parasites are everywhere, discontent and simmering in the spaces between. If a player suffers a deep and lasting loss, or is separated from a truly important object or belief - the parasite may transfer, attracted from the indivisible spaces between to the suffering host.

The parasite and hole will grow larger over seven days, progressing from a pinprick, to something large enough to detach a limb, torso -- or even consume the entire body, leaving nothing behind. The result is usually painless, and definitely permanent.

When subject to any attack spell or other interaction, the parasites host may choose to test their luck, and take the number of days as a negative modifier (eg 2d6, -4 days of parasite effect). If successful, the attack, spell or other has somehow passed harmlessly through the hole, or been diverted in some dramatic fashion as a result of the parasite.

Restoration or reconciliation with the lost item or belief within this time will completely remove the effects of the parasite, and render the host complete again.

If an impassioned argument can be made for the non-existence of 'holes' themselves, the Ontological Parasite may be psychically contorted enough to move itself on.

Each morning, the parasite imparts it's mien onto the host:

Mien

Desperate searching
Wrathful frustration
Aching and despondant
Insufferably dependant on others
Jealous of the whole
Voiding out

So I got a new camera

hidden (itsjintor) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:54:00 +0000

Spent my Bearblog perma subscription money on this tbh but Bearblog can wait for a bit (sorry Herman)

I've been rocking my wife's Olympus E-PL3 for a few months, but it's pretty old. It was always the budget brand camera of its day anyway (the L stands for Lite... I think) but in 2016 the 13MP sensor isn't super hot, not to mention the pretty slow autofocus. I'll still keep it around, for reasons that will become clear, but I was feeling that pressure.

I had a few thoughts lined up, mostly in the Olympus side of things (mainly because I already had some M43 lenses, especially the 20mm f1.7 Panasonic pancake). E-M10 II or E-M10 IV, or an E-M5 III... but then this deal came along, and I couldn't pass it up.

Fella was offloading his whole M43 collection, and included was an E-M1 II for A$650 with three batteries. The body alone is going for like $770 on eBay, so, you know. And I had the money. Why wait?

I've been playing around with it for a little bit now and I think it's a great camera. It takes incredible shots. Right now I can't take it out of the house - it didn't come with a strap, so I have one on order, and I'm pretty afraid of dropping the thing. It's built like a tank, but it's still an expensive camera at the end of the day.

I wasn't sure about the articulating screen compared to a tilt screen and, alas, I think I was right: I don't like it nearly as much. It's supposed to be good for vertical shots and such, and it's nice to be able to flip the screen over to protect it when using the viewfinder, but it feels awkward looking at it when it's over to the side of the body. Sad to say but I think most high-end models have moved over to an articulating screen, so I don't know if I have much in the way of options here in the future.

The main thing I was surprised by was how much the additional size and weight matters. It's only about 200g heavier than the E-PL3, but that 200g matters significantly. Specifically, it's a lot more difficult to hold one-handed - two-handed is easy enough, but being able to move the camera around for a specific shot was great. The size also is a bit of a bummer; it turns it from something I could slip in my heavy coat pocket into, well, not that. Hopefully it will still work on a shoulder strap so I can holster it the way I did my E-PL3 on street walks, but we'll see when this new strap arrives.

I will say the grip is magical; it feels perfectly molded to my hand, and it makes holding it one-handed feel a fair bit more secure than the smooth-as-glass flat E-PL3 did. And actually using the camera is a fair sight easier than the PL3. Dials to control shutter and aperture are a godsend after having to fuck around in the menus for the E-PL3, not to mention the plethora of buttons on this thing - the super control panel was helpful, but having access to ISO/sequential shot/DOF preview all on a bunch of easy-to-access buttons is really convenient.

And, of course, it takes amazing photos. Fantastic photos, really, at least in the easy mode still-object product-photography genre, which is what I default to. I realise this is a post about cameras without a single image - sorry, again, I spent the subscription money that would let me host images on bearblog on this camera - but I just wanted to spew out some words while I still had them in mind.

As if by serendipity, while I was browsing the Discover tab I found another BearBlogger had just built a photo journal-y sort of place. Read Peter's bearblog about it here, and check out Moments.im here. I will probably start an account there later just to poke around.

The Witch Word

hidden (secretsofmeowgic) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:51:00 +0000

This pawtion is one of my favourites, in terms of both flavour and purpose. It is a powerful boost for your powers, especially with regards to spoken spells and incantations, but it's also the perfect drink for a Sabba. However, it is a pawtion of the alcoholic persuasion, so use your judgement as to when it is appropriate to use it: it's not gonna help you get a job if you show up drunk to the interview! Also, if alcohol is not your thing, that's fine. Just skip this and I'll see you next time.

There are two variants of this pawtion, and while I can't know for sure, I suspect the first one is the original. It is one of the endless variations of the Last Word, a very famous cocktail and also possibly the one with the best name¹.
The eponymous ingredient in both is Strega, an Italian liqueur which name literally translates as Witch. This alone is full of meowgic, due to its origin story: Strega was created in 1860 in Benevento, a city in Southern Italy said to be the Mecca of all Italian witches. The founder of the brewery was allegedly inspired by the love filters of those witches to create his recipe, which includes meowgical ingredients such as cinnamon, orris root and wild mint and juniper. For these reasons, I put it in every pawtion and spells that requires an extra bit of meowgic, regardless on whether I am going to drink it or not.

Version 1: The Classic

Here is the first recipe of the pawtion, which is a standard variation of the Last Word.
Ingredients:

20 ml London dry gin
20 ml Maraschino
20 ml Strega
20 ml fresh lime juice

Shake all ingredients with ice, then strain into a coupe glass (or wine glass. Or whatever glass. It's fine). The act of the shaking is the perfect moment to infuse whatever energy or intention you may want for this particular batch.

Version 2: Overcharged!

Same quantities and preparation method, but swap the Maraschino for ginger liqueur. Ginger is used in witchcraft as a catalyst and power boost, and to attract luck. However, it also aligns with love and especially lust, which are themselves a source of power for many witches, and fits with the modern image of the Witch that Strega embraces. Use this version when you really need that extra push.

Happy mixing!

although Archibald's Last Memory and Bee's Knees are up there!↩

899

hidden (73pctgeek) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:44:00 +0000

What I Think About When I Think About Cooking

hidden (mothertehresa) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:43:22 +0000

Grilled Sea Bass with Lime Herb Salsa

Ingredients:

Sea bass fillet
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt
Pepper
Lime juice
Fresh parsley
Green chili
Red onion
Capers

Method

Pat fish dry, rub with olive oil, salt and pepper
Grill, pan fried or roast until skin crisped up
To prepare salsa, chop parsley, green chili and red onion. Mix them with capers, olive oil
Serve fish with salsa over

Notes

You'll see I don't put measurements, that's because it all depends. I used a fillet. You could use the whole fish. I use less salt because I have high blood pressure, you could use more if you like. All I ask is that you taste the salsa and make adjustments as you go.
If you are using an oven you'll probably need to preheat, cooking time honestly depends on your own setup and how thick the fish is but I normally use the fish skin as a gauge

I've always loved cooking. I am quite sure cooking and feeding people is one of my love languages. There is something so magical and comforting in planning, preparing and cooking a great meal for the people you love. The kitchen is my favourite place in the whole house. Sometimes my meal revolve around the fact that I have this specific ingredient in my fridge and I need to use it. Sometimes my meal revolve around the fact that I have this very specific itch I needed to scratch. Sometimes it's because I am trying to get healthier on a Mediterranean diet and am experimenting with new recipes.

I keep a mental note on what my loved ones eat or doesn't eat. (My MIL is currently topping the list with the most complex and vague dietary preferences, not restrictions.) I ask them about how they are feeling physically. I look at what is fresh. I search for the perfect recipe to follow.

I spend hours in the kitchen to prepare a meal and I can feel myself in my zone. Sometimes I put on music, sometimes I put on a crime documentary, sometimes it's silence and only kitchen chaos. Sometimes I find myself thinking about the people I am cooking for. I think about the last conversation we had. I think about the last time this person (might've) slighted me. I think about the last laugh we had together. I look forward to seeing them on the dining table, with my food.

If you've ever watched a Studio Ghibli movie, do you ever feel a very very specific kind of warmth when they are cooking? No matter how turbulent the movie has been or will be, when they are cooking everything just pauses and it felt like things will be okay. The feeling you get when you are sitting down with a hot cup of beverage after a long day. That's how I feel when I think about cooking. I'd say when I am cooking I feel this but I am in a different zone when I cook and I am still struggling to put that into words.

Some days I find myself wondering if they hear the quiet I love yous that passed through the plates. Love is a very strong word but I honestly have no better substitute because surely if I don't love all these people I cook for I won't remember that this person doesn't eat beef for religious reason, this person doesn't eat chicken with bones because of childhood trauma, this person doesn't eat food with slimy texture because of personal preference, this person cannot eat shellfish because of allergies and red meat because of preferences and the list goes on. You get my point.

📝 Of Donuts and Aliens

hidden (thelongplay) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:36:00 +0000

Spoiler warning for Project Hail Mary!

I was driving around in Forza Japan one evening when a random person tried to communicate with me... and it was at the same time that, in the book Project Hail Mary, Dr. Grace discovers Rocky. In much the same way that Dr Grace was confused and surprised by the attempt to communicate in a very constrained way, so was I with this random stranger. This person started doing donuts in front of me, clearly trying to signal something. Then would drive off and, as far as I could tell, wait for me to follow. So I did. We followed each other around on the map. Jumping off ramps. Doing donuts. It was so dumb. But it was so fun. Sometimes sending random pretexts like "perfection" or "nice to meet you." Very constrained text trying to pass off a vibe, a feeling, an idea. And movement. Movement was also a way to communicate. "Drive away, wait" became "follow me". Doing donuts was our way of saying "woohoo, this is fun!" But the thing is…I have no idea, really, do I? I mean, I THINK that's what it meant. It's what it meant for me. But what if this stranger didn't want me following them around at all? What if they were saying "STOP" and I didn't get it? I just naively thought we all wanted to connect, communicate, and share this moment. Dr. Grace and Rocky teach each other their languages and come up with English words for each other's words. But sometimes I wondered how you really knew if that was actually what Rocky was trying to say. Everything is an interpretation. The way we experience our world is all one interpretation, a personal interpretation.

What I love about Rocky and Ryland's relationship is that they respect each other. They adapt to each other. Neither tries to force their culture on the other. They see the strengths of each planet, and they use them to their advantage. They don't think one is more than the other. Together, they're stronger, smarter, and more capable of saving BOTH their planets.

With Rocky and Ryland, there is no assumption that they understand each other, unlike me and my Forza stranger (we both come from planet Earth… I think? Maybe Rocky has an Xbox up in Rockyland). Rocky and Ryland build their understanding from scratch, verifying everything, correcting mistakes. It's slow, careful, and earned. And even then… do we really know what Rocky was trying to say? Even the most careful communication is still interpretation. The Forza stranger and I had none of that slow scaffolding. We had donuts, ramps, and "perfection 👍". And yet, I still felt a connection (clearly enough to write a damn thing about it). I still felt joy. And probably because of the constraint of not being able to voice or actually text chat.

I keep thinking there was a message hidden underneath everything. That the donuts meant something. That waiting by the side of the road meant something. That if only I could translate it properly, I would know whether the stranger and I were on the same page (the page of having fun together). It made me wonder whether the waiting and shared experiences, like donuts and ramps, were actually a form of play, even if I couldn't quite translate what we were feeling. And yet…I don't know. Maybe I'm just doing what I've been doing this entire essay: taking a series of events and constructing a story that feels true, making meaning out of things. But isn't that just what we humans do? The thing is… does it even matter whether I understand the Forza stranger correctly? Because honestly, whatever happened that evening, I came away feeling like I'd connected with another person. And maybe that's enough.

If you enjoyed this and want to have a conversation feel free to email me 💌 or sign my Guestbook

TEST XYZ ABOUT

hidden (wmfoo) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:11:00 +0000

About

My name is William Parker. I live and work in the Midwest United States.

I'm a husband-to-be, cat guy 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛, Obsidian enthusiast, amateur photographer, and regular user of both Linux and Mac.

Most posts begin as notes in Obsidian before finding their way here. They are intentionally imperfect. What matters to me is capturing things while they're still fresh rather than polishing them into something they never were.

For much of my life I carried a negative view of the world and the people in it. Getting older has taught me that attention shapes reality. The more carefully I notice what's good, the more of it I seem to find.

This blog is part notebook, part journal, and part record of whatever happened to catch my attention.

Reach out if you'd like to talk. You can also browse my blogroll.

Subscribe via email or RSS feed.

Elsewhere:

TEST XYZ HOME

hidden (wmfoo) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:07:00 +0000

Hey, I'm William.

I live in the Midwest, work in a grocery store, take photographs, write in Obsidian, and occasionally publish things here.

I've been blogging on and off since the LiveJournal days. After nearly twenty years of WordPress, I walked away for a while before finding BearBlog in 2023.

This blog has no central theme beyond whatever has my attention at the moment: work, technology, photography, music, family, or whatever else I happen to be noticing.

Learn more or dive right in.

Subscribe via email or RSS feed.

If you have praise or criticisms to share, sign the guestbook or reach out.

What is considered Prime these days?

hidden (basic) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:00:00 +0000

Brandon wrote a post asking what is currently in its Prime these days.

I remember the days when TV series had over 20 episodes in a season. I got into the stories and characters, some episodes wrapped up within the hour and some series had a back story that lasted a few episodes.

My wife enjoys re-watching these older series. When she finds a new series with several seasons of 20 episodes each, she feels rich! It is funny for me to see this joy.

These days we are lucky to get 10 episodes and an annual season release. It is hard to watch a series and wait two years for another season. I can't imagine how difficult it is to build a fanbase. One show we both watched was The Last of Us and only the first season. We looked forward to the future of the series but once we read online that season two changed what we liked about season one, we dropped it.

I can't think of anything that is Prime today or in the past years.

Moments.im another photo journal site

hidden (landofthelost) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 07:00:00 +0000

I came across moments.im from the Bubbles.town blog site. It shot to number one at the time and I thought it was cool. But after letting it sink in, I remember seeing similar photo sites advertised in the fediverse.

Of course I don't remember them because no one else has brought it up again.

I love all the projects that start up from an idea but many disappear for various reasons. It's unfortunate but for this reason I invest time in only what I can these days. I'm not young any more to create accounts and try every new social and community service. I barely visit the one forum I've used for over 20 years. Forums, right? Remember?

I wish Peter well and hope to see his site grow as much as Pixelfed.

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Version 1: The Classic

Version 2: Overcharged!

899

What I Think About When I Think About Cooking

📝 Of Donuts and Aliens

TEST XYZ ABOUT

About

TEST XYZ HOME

What is considered Prime these days?

Moments.im another photo journal site